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Understanding something intellectually is one thing. Catching yourself before you react the old way is where the real work shows.
Dr. Will Washington is back on The Season of Self Love! In this Mindset Monday conversation, we pick up where we left off on emotional intelligence and ask what actually happens in the gap between feeling an old impulse and choosing to respond differently. Dr. Will, a licensed therapist, speaker, and longtime friend of the show, breaks down the survival instincts behind that moment, the idea that we each have a biological age, an emotional age, and a spiritual age (and that it matters which one is speaking up), and why emotional intelligence is about awareness, not just articulation. We talk about "rupture and repair," how to set boundaries as "if-then" statements instead of waiting for people to guess your triggers, why consideration is a love language, and why attachment and connection are not the same thing. Along the way, you'll hear both of us get real about what it looks like when the unhealed version of us shows up, and how to honor that moment without being run by it.
We talk about:
• What's happening in the gap between an old impulse and a new choice
• Biological age, emotional age, and spiritual age: which one is speaking up in this moment?
• Why emotional intelligence is a spectrum of awareness, and how it differs from emotional articulation
• Why caregivers (and anyone who loves someone through a hard season) often write themselves out of their own story
• How to tell when something is "heavy," and listening to what your body is telling you
• Rupture and repair: owning your part, and deciding together whether to continue or let a lesson be a lesson
• Why triggers are often unresolved work and not proof that someone caused harm
• Boundaries as "if-then" statements: it's not other people's job to know your triggers, it's yours
• Consideration as a love language
• Attachment vs. connection
• Why delivery matters, and sharing space for repair when it doesn't land
• Healing as a lifestyle, not a destination: "Heal always"
If you've ever done the work, understood the pattern, and still felt the old version of you rise up, this episode is about what to do in that exact moment.
A Gentle Invitation From This Episode
This week, you're invited to notice one moment when you feel the old impulse rising. Pause. You don't have to do it perfectly. Just notice it and catch it before it catches you.
In This Episode
• Welcome back, Dr. Will — what he's been working on, including a talk at Oxford on mind and music and a men's group called Brothers Healing Brothers in Cleveland
• Guided meditation — "I can pause. I can breathe. I can choose."
• The gap between impulse and choice — survival instincts and what feels unsafe
• Which age is speaking? — biological, emotional, and spiritual
• Awareness vs. articulation — emotional intelligence in action
• When your body says "this is heavy"
• "I know better, so I do better" — and why it isn't about thinking you're better than anyone
• Rupture and repair — what they are and how to do them
• Honoring your peace — sometimes you have to disrupt the peace to honor your peace
• Boundaries as "if-then" statements — and consideration as a love language
• Triggers and blind spots — when it's about unresolved work
• Attachment vs. connection
• Delivery, harm, and repair
• Closing reflection — the pause is where your power lives
• Dr. Will's closing words — "Be kind to yourself and heal always."
About Dr. Will Washington
Dr. Will Washington is a licensed therapist with nearly 15 years of experience, a speaker, and the voice behind the "Heal Always" philosophy that has shaped much of this show. He recently spoke at Oxford University on mind and music (using music in therapeutic healing) and leads "Brothers Healing Brothers," experiential groups for men in the Cleveland area. His work with the Washington Wellness Institute focuses on modernizing how we take mental illness into holistic wellness and making healing a lifestyle. He's also part of a live-streamed show with another therapist on his YouTube channel.
• Washington Wellness Institute: sign up for a free 15-minute consultation
• YouTube: his live-streamed show (link to be added)
Resources & Links
🧘 Washington Wellness Institute — free 15-minute consultation with Dr. Will Washington https://www.youtube.com/@Wash_Wellness
🌸 Start your self-love journey today — 7 days free on Elevate Me: studio.com/nyomi (https://studio.com/nyomi) or elevatemenyomi.com (https://elevatemenyomi.com)
📝 The Season of Self Love on Substack: substack.com/@theseasonofselflove (https://substack.com/@theseasonofselflove)
🌐 The Season of Self Love website: theseasonofselflove.com (https://theseasonofselflove.com)
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from Nyomi's World https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmwHhFLZF6U
