Boundaries Start With Internal Safety: Stop Over-Giving and Learn to Have Your Own Back (With Bar...

💬 Got something to share? Text or voice note me (https://www.buzzsprout.com/2628501/fan_mail/new) What if the thing that finally changes your boundaries isn't another tool or another insight, but learning to feel safe inside your own life? This week on Wisdom Wednesday, I'm joined by Barb Nangle, a boundaries coach, speaker, author, and host of the Fragmented to Whole podcast. After nearly 40 years of therapy and personal development, Barb entered 12-step recovery at 52 and discovered that her real issue was never a lack of insight. It was a lack of internal safety. She helps professional women stop over-giving and start building the internal system that makes real boundaries possible. We talk about why boundaries are the antidote to codependency, what "internal safety" actually means (hint: it isn't feeling calm all the time), and how to tell the difference between the discomfort of dysfunction and the discomfort of growth. We also get into why guilt shows up when you set a boundary, why "being the helper" can become an identity, and one small thing you can try today to start building internal safety, no one else's cooperation required. We talk about: • What internal safety is, and what it isn't: not constant calm, but not letting someone else's upset stop you from holding your boundary • Boundaries as the antidote to codependency • The discomfort of dysfunction (familiar and draining) vs. the discomfort of growth (new, temporary, and healing) • Why guilt after setting a boundary is proportional to how much you've been abandoning yourself • How "helper, fixer, rescuer" can become an identity, and why stepping out of that role feels like breaking the rules • Why we look for safety in other people's approval, and why the real path to safety is internal • Telling yourself the truth when someone's upset with you: "I'm not a bad person. I haven't done anything wrong. I'm not in trouble." • Becoming emotionally available to yourself first, and how that changed the way Barb relates to others • A small step you can try today: boundaries with your own thoughts, and "changing the channel" • Collecting evidence that you can do the new thing and be okay If you're an over-giver, a people pleaser, or someone who feels guilty every time you say no, this conversation offers a gentler way in. In This Episode • Guided meditation — "You are allowed to feel safe inside your own life." • Meet Barb Nangle — boundaries coach, speaker, author, and podcast host • What changed after 40 years of personal development — recovery, codependency, and a new view of boundaries • Internal safety explained — and what it isn't • Two kinds of discomfort — dysfunction vs. growth • How Barb realized she was codependent • Why guilt shows up — and what it has to do with abandoning yourself • Why we feel the need to rescue — and where that begins • Telling yourself something different — the self-talk that builds internal safety • Becoming emotionally available to yourself — and how it changes relationships • One small thing to try today — boundaries with yourself and changing the channel • Where to find Barb — free Internal Safety Resource Pack and a holiday boundaries workshop About Barb Nangle Barb Nangle is a boundaries coach, speaker, and author who helps professional women stop over-giving and start building the internal system of safety that makes real boundaries possible. She is the host of the Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from Twelve Step Recovery podcast, with more than 375 episodes over 8+ years. • Website: higherpowercc.com (https://higherpowercc.com) • 🎁 Free Internal Safety Resource Pack (podcast episodes, articles, and worksheets): higherpowercc.com/pack (https://higherpowercc.com/pack) • 🎙️ Fragmented to Whole podcast: higherpowercc.com/podcast (https://higherpowercc.com/podcast) Upcoming Workshop: Holiday Boundaries Made Simple Barb is hosting a live, 90-minute workshop with exercises and a worksheet to help you go into the holiday season with limits you can honor: spending, travel, time, and help. • Date/time: Wednesday, November 11 at 5:00 PM Eastern • Cost: $97 • Details and registration: higherpowercc.com/holiday (https://higherpowercc.com/holiday) • A replay is typically offered; check the registration page for details. Resources & Links 🌸 Start your self-love journey today — 7 days free on Elevate Me: studio.com/nyomi (https://studio.com/nyomi) or elevatemenyomi.com (https://elevatemenyomi.com) 📝 The Season of Self Love on Substack: substack.com/@theseasonofselflove (https://substack.com/@theseasonofselflove) 🌐 The Season of Self Love website: theseasonofselflove.com (https://theseasonofselflove.com) 📺 The Season of Self Love is now on YouTube — subscribe for videos, episodes, and behind-the-scenes content This episode is brought to you by Goalie and Elevate Me Self-Discovery App. Connect with...

from Nyomi's World https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox3uloHzi7c